We all want our children to reach their full potential and become happy, well-rounded adults.
So, when my son said he wanted to go to a grammar school, I was encouraging. He was top of his class so it was an easy decision. He worked hard, excelled in the exams and is now thriving at his chosen school. It was the right decision for him.
Now, my daughter is starting to think about secondary schools and wants to sit the 11+. But, with an outstanding comprehensive on our doorstep, the decision is less clear-cut. She is clever but more laid-back when it comes to studying. She is also very creative and I wonder if that side of her personality would be stifled in a very academic school.
Grammar versus comprehensive
What’s the difference and which is the best fit for your child?
Grammars offer places based on test scores and catchment area. Comprehensives are open to all abilities within catchment.
Grammars are results-driven so more pressurised. Having lots of clever children together makes it more competitive. Some children raise their game, others get stressed. Comprehensives stream children by ability so they can work at their own level, though some children will stay in their comfort zone rather than push themselves.
Going to a grammar may mean a long journey and classmates are spread over a wide area. Your child will have to become more independent (unless you want extra chauffeuring duties). A local comprehensive scores on convenience and offers the comfort of some familiar faces, and new friends are nearby.
Be realistic
Some children are keen to prove themselves and don’t mind exams. For others, it doesn’t come so easily. Put your own aspirations for them aside for a minute. How naturally academic is your child? The 11+ process is a marathon not a sprint. If they aren’t towards the top of their primary class by the end of year 4, then this may not be the right track for them. To make it over the finish line and cope with the rigours of a grammar school, they will also need drive, determination and resilience. Tutoring for 11+ exams has become common but it doesn’t come cheap and should be used wisely. I’ve seen some children who have been tutored long and hard to win a place only to find themselves out of their depth. They may be a maths genius but they will need to be strong across the whole curriculum.
If your dream school is super-selective and over an hour away, is it really achievable or practical? Remember, time spent travelling back and forth is time lost for homework, clubs and a social/family life.
Competition
The stats are scary. In the race for grammar places, there are 10-12 children chasing each one so competition is fierce. If you live within the catchment area for your target school then a Pass may be enough. Most grammars also take a fixed number from out of area but only top scorers. Super-selectives have higher standards and want blood, sweat, tears and top scores to secure a place.
It’s easy to get swept along, lose perspective and become slightly obsessive.
Involve your child
With seven academically and emotionally challenging years ahead, choosing the right school is a big deal. So, involve your child in the decision. Discuss their options. Address any concerns. Try not to put them under pressure to meet your expectations. They may want to make an easy transition to secondary with their friends. Who can blame them? The prospect of extra homework and exams isn’t exactly appealing. Help your child to see the bigger picture. Open their eyes to other possibilities so they can make an informed decision.
The final decision
There’s not much point going through the 11+ process unless you have researched your local comprehensive and grammar schools. Ask current parents/students for their opinions, check out Ofsted reports and go to open days to see how they compare.
If your child is willing and academically able, then sitting the 11+ may broaden your options. It can also teach children study skills and that success comes from hard work. And, if your local comp just isn’t up to scratch, it could offer a lifeline.
Pushing a reluctant child through the system could be a bumpy ride and not worth a stressful summer. It’s not Game Over if you decide they’re not grammar school material. At 11, they lack maturity and still have time to flourish so may do better in a mixed ability school rather than being overshadowed in a grammar. Late bloomers have another chance for selection at Sixth Form.
With so much pressure on kids these days, socially and academically, the most important thing a school can offer is a happy, nurturing environment, so weigh everything up honestly with your child and do what feels right for them.
About Fiona Newman